Storms

I’m sitting here in my house, alone and outside there’s a storm brewing.  It looks like a good one too.  You know the ones caused in the summer when the daytime heating is so wild that the atmsphere has to release it’s pent-up energy?  I can feel one brewing my heart too.  I’ve felt it for weeks now.  Maybe even months.  Have you ever felt that?  That feeling of discontent?  That feeling of anxiety?  That feeling of loneliness even in the midst of a hundred people.

It wells up in you just like the storm outside…building.  There’s a little rain.  At first the few little drops feel good…promising even.  You feel like they’ll cool the air.  Hopeing they’ll suck out the humidity that drains you after only thirty minutes of yard work.  You stand in it, waiting for the refreshment.

Then the wind starts.  A cool breeze as the clouds tumble into the sky and block out the sun making it look like nighfall.  The wind starts blowing the trees and the wind starts to pour.

The thunder claps and the winds drive the rain and shove the trees, bending their branches, forcing them to the ground.

The rain so heavey now that the roads look like they’re swaying.

Then the wind slows and it’s just the rain.  A steady downpour on the parched soil.  Quenching the thirst that the drought has spread across this land.

And just when it seems like it’s over..the anger past…the thunder roles again.  Shaking the house.

That’s how it is inside of me.  One minute I feel so parched…so thirsty and the next it’s pouring…overwhelming me.  I feel relieved and yet anxious out of control.  I feel like the wind shoving it all away to be dealt with some other day.  I start to talk about it..share it…then I realise that he isn’t ready, probably never will be and I blow and blow until it’s gone and the rain and clouds and thunder have moved on.  Gone away for now leaving the sun shining in their place.